Dating in the homosexual world is hard, and I imply that pretty literally. Sometimes it feels like you are banging your head onto a stable brick wall.
As a gay searching for love (not the variety of love you will discover in a cubical toilet), you will come throughout a barrage of lifeless ends and disappointments.
You will be judged, you will be ridiculed and you will have your coronary heart stomped on simply due to the fact you dared to be one of a kind and observe your coronary heart as a substitute than your throbbing penis.
While looking for “the one,” you will come throughout many who are now not “the one.” In fact, you normally come throughout “the one” you will in no way favor to see or even understand again.
Here are the 10 kinds of guys you will most virtually come throughout in the relationship scene:
The slutty guy.
Creeping and lurking in the darkened nook of Grindr till the early hours, the slutty man is a very frequent species in the genus of homosexual men, in fact, most gay guys are sluts and void of any ounce of love and romance, so coming throughout these creatures is as frequent a sight as a Pikachu leaping out of a bush in Pokémon Go.
Don’t get too connected to a slut, in truth do not even communicate with one, remember, you are searching for love, no longer an STD.
The straight / in the closet guy.
Yes, he is very tall, sure he walks like a man — a real man — and sure he is each and every inch the last masculine structure and has no limp wrists or sassy “sista” mannerisms in sight, however he is now not boyfriend fabric and you deserve so plenty better.
This relationship is awful for your shallowness and has no actual future, except you are relaxed with being recognised as a soiled secret for the relaxation of your life.
The ghost guy.
You suppose the entirety went genuinely nicely on that gorgeous and out of this world first date. Conversation was once stimulating, he used to be attractive, you had an remarkable and passionate kissing session and he even paid for the meal and drinks at the quit of the date. But a few days bypass and nothing.
You take a look at in for a signal of existence and silence prevails. You resign your self to the truth that he has vanished and magically disappeared from your life, leaving a gaping void in your coronary heart and a million unanswered questions.
You have been “ghosted,” and all you favor to do now is name the Ghostbusters.
The full of excuses guy.
This man continually appears to have some thing higher to do than commit to a date. You might also have some thing down on the books and then the day of, he is come down with tonsillitis and acquired run over with the aid of a car.
This is the full of excuses guy, and pretty frankly, any excuse no longer to see him once more is a right excuse. Fool me once, disgrace on you. Fool me twice, disgrace on me.
The brief guy.
His profile definitely noted he used to be 5 toes 10, so why am I now searching down at you? Not solely is he a liar, however this is simply totally awkward due to the fact I used to be one hundred percentage looking forward to anyone else.
The left wing hipster guy.
He has a beard, he is sporting skinny denims and he a flannel shirt. He is additionally a righteous and pretentious freedom fighter, and an activist who walks down the avenue chanting ”EU we love you” whilst maintaining a selfmade and illiterate sign that says “Migrants are welcome here.”
I take one step to the proper and disappear out of sight.
The camp guy.
“Hey, gurl, hey.”
You hear his excessive pitched screech earlier than you even see him, then you see him prancing down the road towards you and you simply prefer to shortly die.
He performs up to each out of date and generalized homosexual stereotype, bitchy, overly feminine, loves Beyoncé and can recite each and every scene from “RuPaul’s Drag Race.”
He lives and breathes the homosexual scene, and can be discovered practicably on cue at G-A-Y Bar on a Saturday with his bunch of “sistas” twerking to Rhianna whilst carrying denim shorts and a tight vest.
Avoid like the plague.
The European guy.
He speaks with damaged English and is continuously very joyful with a large smile plastered on his face. Quite frankly, he is too completely happy for my cynical British self to handle.
He has a lot of fellow European pals and they all speak in their personal native language whilst I am simply sat there searching blankly into skinny air now not perception a single word.
Nice ample guy, however too lots of a cultural distinction to shape whatever significant. Plus I voted to go away the EU, so deep down he secretly despises me.
The older man attempting to be young.
You see this 40-something balding creature in the center of the dance flooring searching like a sweating octopus as he tries to dance to the state-of-the-art Justin Bieber dance number.
Living vicariously via the 20-somethings he surrounds himself with, you can nearly see him making an attempt to suck the early life out of these round him like a leech. Go home, put your toes up on the sofa, have a cuppa and swap on “Coronation Street.”
The hopeless romantic guy.
And final however no longer least, the hopeless romantic guy.
He’s a uncommon locate in the homosexual scene. This is any person who truely values and seeks love, no longer the open relationship/Grindr kind, however the normal and monogamous type of love, perish the thought.
Some humans name them obsessive; I like to suppose of them as environment friendly and understanding precisely what they want. This is a man who, after a couple of dates, desires to name you their boyfriend. To be honest, there is nothing incorrect with that; he needs dedication and is no longer afraid to put his coronary heart on the line.
They are loving and trustworthy and deserve any one who can love them equally the same. If you can’t return their affection, you do no longer deserve any individual as distinctive as this in your life. Only fellow unconditional romantics desires apply, this one is a extraordinary catch.